The tricky transition back to being a single dog household

I’ve read many articles about adding a new dog to the family and the changes to expect when transitioning to a multi dog household. In fact I’ve not only written articles on this too, I’ve run workshops on it. But I’ve never read, or written, anything about returning to a single dog household.

Over 30 years of living with multiple dogs

For the first time since the early 1990’s, I am down to one dog. Having lost Ella a week ago, it’s now just me and Ettie. Needless to say, this is a big change for both of us. When I first got Ettie as a teeny tiny puppy she was joining a household of five other dogs. She very much slotted in and held her own against her much bigger housemates. Never shy to express her needs and wants she quickly figured out who the pushovers were, Percy and Yogi, who would play with her, Ella and sometimes Tablet, and who she had to respect, Cherry Blossom. Such a lovely mix of dogs gave her a great grounding in canine etiquette.

That is not to say that she is perfectly behaved around other dogs. She is pushy, can be defensive and is greedy with resources. But she can also play nicely, be a cuddly companion and a fun friend. I often wonder if her behaviour with other dogs would be much more challenging had she not had that dog filled first year. We’ll never know, but I choose to believe that even though she can be a live wire when first meeting new dogs, her social skill base soon kicks in. I still, and always will, support her to make good choices. But there’s so much nuance in canine communication that humans cannot provide, I’m pleased that she had the best start possible.

Single lady

Now that she’s on her own, she’s making adjustments. In the first few days after losing Ella, she would look for her at dinner times and when going outside into the garden. A week on, she’s stopped looking for her. At first I was upset when she rushed into a room to tell Ella we were going outside. Now I get upset when she doesn’t. She is adapting faster than me. More on that later. Walks haven’t been an issue as we had been walking alone for many months, with Ella only being able to accompany us on the odd occasion. Initially, Ettie stayed closer to me, checking in more often than she did when walking with other dogs. Her confidence in walking as a solo dog has increased massively. But because I heavily reinforced those check ins, she has continued to touch base throughout our walks together.

All in all she has adapted quickly. The biggest issue we have is her being super attached to me. This isn’t new, I’ve always been her person and she’s always wanted to be with me. Just at the time when I’d have usually been teaching home alone skills, lockdown hit. Being a good citizen, I followed the rules and didn’t go out more than once a day. Prioritising exercising the other dogs over leaving Ettie home alone has meant it’s always been an issue. Recently we’d been making great progress with her being left for 1 ½ hours without any howling or upset. But that feels like a distant memory now.

She has become so (understandably) clingy that even leaving her in the car has become a challenge. A quick stop while I popped into the Post Office resulted in her howling in the car, much to the dismay of fellow carpark users. I’m addressing this is two ways.

One one hand I’m taking her more places with me. For example, I wanted to visit an art supply shop in Glasgow so I took Ettie too. I’ve always looked askance at people bringing their dogs to busy shopping areas, wondering why they would do that. But now that person is sometimes me. Walking her through the busy, noisy streets of Glasgow was fun. And the reception she got from both staff and fellow customers when we got to the art shop (shout out to Cass Arts Glasgow ) was well worth the walk. Bringing her into more areas with me builds confidence, and is exciting and interesting for Ettie.

Plus I’ve gone back to basics with all the home alone skills. Good exercise before leaving her helps enormously. She’s calmer, less wound up, more prepared to wait it out whether in the car or in the house. Super short stints in both help too. I’m not expecting her to be able to repeat her 1 ½ session any time soon. When she managed that she was with Ella but I don’t believe that affected her behaviour. When I’m not around, it’s never mattered who she is with, human or animal, she in her own world of worry. Therefore I don’t expect her to be adversely affected by not having her little buddy with her during my absences.

Overall, Ettie is doing great. The one time I want her to stick close to me is in the evening. The other night I commented that it was like living without a dog as I looked around the living room with not a dog in sight. As she so often did, she had taken herself off to her cat cave. Happily sound asleep in her own cosy hollow, I was left with a sofa to myself. No hairy blanket, no paws digging into my leg, no warm body to stroke as I watched the telly. Miserable.

Upsides

There are upsides to having just one dog. I’ve only vacuumed once this week. I’ve just payed for her cremation so bills are still coming in, but I’ll save on vet visits, medication and dog food. (I’d already cancelled her insurance as it had become ridiculously expensive and somewhat redundant.) I don’t miss the morning routine of giving Ella her meds, it was stressful for us both. There is more space in my bed at night but that doesn’t feel like an upside right now.

The transition from multiple dogs to just one is as tricky as moving from one dog to two. Each has it’s challenges, it’s pros and cons. The biggest difference is that adding a new dog to the family is a positive, active change that you desire and embrace. Losing a dog isn’t something I would ever chose. But it’s part of life. Ella will continue to live on in our memories alongside my other much missed companions. And Ettie and I look forward to many new adventures and opportunities. I wonder if she fancies a trip to the coffee shop for some cake?